#11 - JRL 6586
From: "Peter Calder" <petercalder1944@ozemail.com.au>
Subject: confusion
Date: Wed, 4 Dec 2002

Dear Mr Putin,

You confuse and puzzle us.

Forgive me for not rendering this missive in your native script but unfortunately my linguistic limitations forestall me. This is not to say that I have not made valiant attempts at becoming understandable in the Russian language, but, sadly, still it eludes me. However, I am encouraged in the understanding that you have been undertaking intensive courses in English and I am sure that your new found admirers in certain higher circles in the West are suitably impressed. It is quite possible that by this time you may be able to read such material as this letter embraces, alone and unaided, with minders and helpers excluded. I salute you, your talents are greater than mine.

I wonder though, if in the reading hereof, you would be able to yet distinguish the enormous cross-cultural differences that exist on either side of our sometimes, semi hostile societal borders.

I expect, that from my years in Russia, you may well respond that it is of little importance, to either you or your nation, whether our western views are of any import at all in the over all scheme of events. You understand of course, that we on the other side, always retain the inalienable right to stand supreme on the high moral ground and dispense gratuitous advice to our perceived lesser global neighbours, on all manner of subjects. We are especially generous in our advice on matters like public accountability, corporate good governance and the civil rights of the man in the street; his friends and relations included. Unfortunately in recent times we have made a few errors in the management of some of these departments, but still, undaunted, we are ever ready to offer informed guidance whether it is sought or not.

This brings to my mind the continuing spate of articles in both your local and the international press, on the sad, ever so sad events, of your black days during the late October period.

It seems that those who judge such things maintain that your political status and personal ratings remain high, despite the ambiguous facts that surround the aftermath of the Cultural Theatre siege. Various reports seem to suggest that the operation was not as successful as your official spokespeople initially proclaimed. There appear to be shades of the Kursk misadventure tingeing upon this event. Any keen analyst of the press reports would detect a certain reluctance to keep the people fully informed. There appears to be an element of contradictory and conflicting misinformation surrounding these recent events. Some less charitable observers would maintain that political considerations outweigh the concerns of the families and relations of the victims. At this late stage of events, it is still not clear exactly what the train of events were. So many obvious and pertinent unanswered questions remain in a fog of avoidance. Perhaps a fog of similar indefinite composition as the one that is said to have been piped into the ventilator shafts of a certain Moscow theatrical address.

Recent ministerial edicts and related press releases, raise the nagging suspicion that freedom of press expression is again in for a touch of revision and redefinition. Some, with long memories and better knowledge of your land’s history, detect some not so subtle reminders of the early days of The Party’s rise some 80 years ago. The very same party that you served your apprenticeship under seems to have left a legacy of domination of the public estate, within a few pairs of hands. Hands that have been self enriching on a grand scale. You came to world attention and prominence without a backdrop of a full public knowledge of things like a complete history, past experience and deeds, credentials and political allegiance. You know what I mean about the expression ‘ The Grey Cardinal’? In this matter we are truly confused. Here in head office, we just don’t know what to make of you.

Nevermind, we westerners really do want to understand you in a deep and meaningful way as we are deep and meaningful people ourselves. If you have doubts on this issue you need only ask us for our reaffirmation. Some of us are particularly interested in helping you to help ourselves to some of your disposables like oil and other things that can be either dug up or cut down, and carted away. Afterall, this is what free enterprise is all about and we have already taught some of your citizens, not all that many mind you, but some, to be freely enterprising.

It seems to me that you may have overlooked a couple of pertinent issues in recent times. A good example is the issue of dollars and the general usefulness of such things. You know of course, that at the moment dollars are generally printed in America, although recently these paper tokens of affluence have endured a bit of a testing time. Notwithstanding that many dollars have been shredded at that noted Wall Street address over recent times, there are still lots of them left in circulation, just circling around looking for a good home and respectable returns. Your country could benefit enormously from a big dollar injection, as this would allow you to do useful and long overdue things towards improving and repairing your infrastructure. I have a suspicion that some sections of your infrastructure are currently running solely from memory, like for instance the number 12 bus that I sometimes have to wait, and wait for, outside of Sokol.

A time-honoured way of gathering dollars is to take them off that western class of adventurers, called tourists. Your wonderfully wide and diverse country has so much to offer tourists but yet you make them so unwelcome. Starting off at the nonfuctional downward escalator at Sherimeteva 2, the unwelcomeness unfolds. Moscow must have one of the grimmest and foreboding international airports on the globe. I bet you don’t even know what I am talking about. Apart from Mr Bush, have you ever had someone look into your soul…. or even deeper, just as those long legged blondes in immigration are capable of doing ? That experience always leaves me feeling completely naked, both outside and in. That’s on the way in, it’s even worse on the way out.

It is said that your state run institutions, like schools and hospitals, are in bad shape having been starved of funds for the past 10 years or so. Our dollar laden world travellers would love to enrich you with some of their excess dollars. Just think what you could do with them.

We here in the west would really like to like you more, even though we know nothing much of your background and past deeds, especially whilst an operative in the service of your country’s KGB. Imparticular, there is some small unease at the numerous roles that present and ex-KGB personnel seem to be playing on the sidelines, and in the background of commerce and government. The expression, ‘ Police state’ comes to mind.

However we are particularly touched and encouraged to read and see that you are now a God fearing man who can multiply cross himself with the best of them. This no doubt must be a recently acquired habit as it is doubtful that you would have gone off to work out there at Yersiniva with your hands fluttering about over your bosom in God’s name. We also note that you are on good terms with the Patriarch himself, which must be of great temporal and spiritual comfort for the Orthodox Church and its adherents. There is nothing quite so warming as having a god-fearing head of state. That’s why all of our western leaders are regular and public church going souls.

Although we want you to be one of us, some of us have this vague uneasiness about you and your special thoughts. We are quite willing to overlook your background and are anxious for you be a real friend and ally, even though some of us know that you are, as yet, still an unknown commodity.

There are some of us here at head office who have small misgivings over your style and record. There are things that you have done that we find a bit unsettling. There was that little publicised story about a certain motoring mishap on the outer roads of St Petersburg, that ended badly for a family of pedestrians. Maybe there was no truth in that story, but your recent action in the subjugation of your environmental agency at the hands of the outfit that is devoted to the exploitation of the environment, leaves us wondering.

Then there is your preoccupation with that troublesome southern region in the Caucuses and the grim news stories that get smuggled out of that devastated place. Your campaign there has been won several times over but at what cost and at whose expense? How many Russian mothers have to dispute the statistics concerning lost sons and poorly trained and equipped conscripts before the whole misadventure implodes - again. It is only the Chechens and lookalikes on the metro and the kids of draft age from the street, who know about another dimension of that long since won conflict. However, for the present, we are also preoccupied with the various axii of evil and are disinclined to say much more on this matter.

In short and long, Mr Putin, we are puzzled and confused.

Yours truly,

Peter Calder,
Moscow.

PS I still have not had a response from you on the matter of my unaccompanied luggage that still sits in Customs awaiting payment of duties that exceed the value of the contents thereof.

I don’t suppose you ended up with my new ice skates ?