Interview Bobby Muller
July 6, 1999
ADM's Glenn Baker interviews
the President of Vietnam Veterans of America Foundation, for "Casualty Phobia"
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Ask the Expert: Interview Transcripts
Bobby Muller
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MR. MULLER: Okay, my name is Bobby Muller, President of the Vietnam Veterans America
Foundation. Served with the Marines in Vietnam from September of 68 until April 29th of '69
when I took a bullet through the chest. At that time, was a first lieutenant and had worked as
a Marine platoon commander, and wound up working with the Arvin, South Vietnamese Army, as an
advisor on the battalion level. That's it.
MR. BAKER: So you, you signed up and --
MULLER: Oh yeah. You know, a lot people forget that, you know, in 1964, '65,
'66, '67, you know, America was very rah rah Vietnam. And, it really wasn't until, really,
I think the Tet offensive in '68, that public opinion really turned around. But, for a lot of
years, there was a lot of public support, and being a senior in college in '67 with a Marine
recruiter on campus, and being 5'8" and a hundred and twenty-five pounds, seeing this
6'2", probably 230 pound guy in dress full uniforms, I said, yeah, that's me. And, signed up.
BAKER: Although it was six inches just for signing up, right? Okay, well,
I'm going to start out with the part about your experience in Vietnam and... you told me about
that, and then kind of mid-way change directions and look at this Kosovo situation. Okay?
Uh, when you went to Vietnam, did you look forward to combat?
MULLER: I graduated honor man in my Marine Corps basic training, and could
have any job I wanted basically. And, I chose infantry, and I chose Vietnam as my duty station.
And, I was very eager to mix it up and to get into combat. You look back on it now and it
sounds crazy but, at the time, you wanted it. You know, when I do a lot of speaking publicly
on campuses, I really do tell students, go look at Stanley Kubrick's film, Full Metal Jacket.
And, you can really see how basically a bunch of nummies wind up being transformed into the
kinds of people that Marines were. I got to tell you that we charge enemy positions. It's
remarkable to look at it with the benefit of some age, but it does work.
BAKER: Could you set the scene for me on how you came to take the bullet,
how you came to be wounded? What, what was your mission?
MULLER: My mission was, uh, I had a combined force of U.S. and South
Vietnamese infantry, and we were a blocking element for a North Vietnamese large size unit that
was supposed to be sweeping through the area. We had to get over some hills, and there were
basically, I guess, North Vietnamese soldiers dug in as a, basically it was a suicide squad, to
block our advance.
And, my job was to take the hill and to set our positions up. And, before we
did any ground assault up on that hill, I had an hour and a half or 155 millimeter guns, boom,
right on the target. I had four jet strikes come in, drop their payload, boom, right on target. I had eight US gun tanks and two flame tanks, and the gun tanks used half their allowance of ammunition. One of the flame tanks came up and burned the hill. And, with all of that, you know, the tank commanders would still see some of the MBA's popping their heads up, and they were bloody from the concussion of, you know, everything we'd dropped in ordinance on their heads. And, there would be blood from the nose and from the ears. But, you know, it just illustrates, you know, what are the hard lessons you learn in these situations. That, when you have a dug in enemy, the can take one heck of a pounding. And, at the end of the day, you know, with some colonel flying upstairs in a chopper, take the hill, take the hill, I basically wound up leading an actual ground assault up the hill, and that's when I took the bullet through the chest, and that was it.
BAKER: Can you talk about that? I mean, is there, is there any way to describe
what it felt like at the moment when you were hit?
MULLER: In any other conflict, I would have died. But, for Vietnam, with the
medical evacuation capability that we had, there were some other guys who were casualties, so,
before I got hit, I'd called in some Medivac choppers. And, I was Medivac'd literally minutes
within getting shot. And, with my luck, the hospital shift, the USS Repose, was right there,
right off the coast, that particular afternoon, turning around and go back southbound towards
Da Nang. And, they actually put in my records, despite an instant Medivac that, had I arrived
a minute later, I would have been dead. Both lungs had collapsed, the bullet went in, went
through both lungs. And, it was really the chest injury, and not so much the spinal cord
getting severed, that was the critical part of being wounded.
I can't really describe what it
felt like other than it's like you're in a big bell and somebody went bong. Or, like the
windshield of a car that just shattered into a thousand pieces. It was not painful because it
was beyond pain. It's like, you know, you hit your thumb with a hammer and you know that it's
going to hurt, but, right then, it's just stunned. And, then, all of a sudden, everything got
very mellow and I just started slowly to recede in consciousness. And, I realized I was going
to die. And, it was calm, it was you're going, there's nothing you can do to stop it. And,
it was an absolute conviction on my part that I was going to die. And, then I went out.
When I
woke up on the hospital ship, my reaction was absolute disbelief and also total ecstasy.
You know, I don't remember how many tubes I had in there. I had, you know, more tubes than
you could probably count, but I made it and I was ecstatic and people don't understand that,
if you really think that, you know, you cashed out, if you're given a second chance at life,
you know, it doesn't matter if you're missing limbs or you're paralyzed or whatever, you know,
you're really grateful to be here. And, that's how I've always felt. I've never been depressed
over the disability because I view all of this as a gift, and it's a second chance. And, I
don't think you can really understand that or perhaps even believe it until you've gone through
it. So, I don't try to tell that story all that much because people think I'm nuts.
BAKER: So, it was a single bullet?
MULLER: One shot, right through the chest. Yep.
BAKER: You must have seen buddies or compatriots that fell before you and not
have the fortune of the Medivac.
MULLER:: You know, it's amazing. You see sometimes people with relatively
lesser injuries that die. You know, it's weird. And, then you see some guys that get blown to
smithereens and they wind up living. It's all a crap shoot. I think twice I had the guys on
both sides of me get hit and I didn't. So, it's not something where it's a question of how
intelligent you are as to whether your number's going to come up. It's a numbers game.
You know, the thing about being out in the field is, you know, you tend to keep moving to some
extent. When you wind up on the other end of the Medivac chain, as I did in intensive care,
I don't know how long I was there, but I was there long enough to remember lights never went out
and guys were always screaming, always. And, it was guys that were traumatically amputated
because, usually, the land mines, changing the dressings, that would scream for their mothers,
it was burn cases.
Once you've really been submerged in what the consequence of it is all
about, I think it would be much harder to ever get up and get back into a combat environment
again. It, you know, when you're out there and you're sort of keeping on moving and so on and
so forth, yeah. But, once you really understand the pain and the suffering, I don't think I'd
have gone back.
I was in combat in Vietnam. It was one of these things where we were on a ridge line
and, before we could call in choppers to get out some casualties, we called in supporting arms
fire. And, it's not like the mad moment in training, which is pretty impressive where they
show you all this intense coordinated fire power. All of the safety precautions were done away
with. And, we called in jet strikes right outside our perimeter. We had heavy, you know,
artillery bombardments. And, it's my first day out in the field. And, I'm there. And, I'm
going, yeah, team. Wow, I'm getting pumped, you know, wow wee, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was saying
this is so bad. The ground is shaking, it's thundering, it's like awesome, right. Boom,
smoke clears, we get the choppers in, you know, come in. And, all round our position, where we
just pounded these guys for God knows how long, boom, they opened fire. And, I, and the
chopper gets hit and the chopper starts to wobble and it crashes in the valley. I said, "whoa,
welcome to Vietnam."
But, it was just that first day would prove to be, over and over again,
that, when people dig in, they can take an incredible pounding. And, at the end of the day,
you've got to engage them. There's just not two ways about it. And, that's what everybody
that commented on this war at the front end was saying, you know, you can only go but so far
without engaging. And, you know, there's a lot of history behind that.
It was just the one about being, how, once you're on the other end of the Medivac
receiving chain, that, it really does change things. You know, when you're on the battle field,
and you keep pushing forward, you know, you really do try and get the wounded out, obviously,
as fast as you can. But, going back and being in intensive care and, I don't know how many days
I was there, but I'll never forget it. It transformed me, it did. The lights never go out.
And, honest to God, there's always somebody screaming. You know, the guys that would cry the
loudest would be the traumatic amputees, you know, from land mines that had their dressings
changed. Or sometimes the burn cases. And, you know, you hear grown guys calling for their
mother. It's unbelievable. But, you know, being submerged, so to speak, in that reality,
I've got to tell you, even if I could have, I don't think after that I could have gone back
on the battlefield, honestly. It's, uh, it's a different reality.
BAKER:So, what happened to you then? How did you go from the Medivac to the
ship?
MULLER: I just got transported by helicopter to the Akuska, I think it was,
in Japan. You know, went to Da Nang and then got flown to Japan and then Guam. And, spent,
I think, a week on Guam coming back. And, then finally got flown back to the States. Spent a
year in a hospital, up in New York City. It was a place that, eight of the guys from the spinal
cord energy service alone, wound up committing suicide, including my closest personal friend.
Life magazine came in and did a cover story on my ward in May of 1970, which revealed what,
at least in some cases, were the deplorable conditions that, at least, some of the veterans
from Vietnam had to come back to in terms of veterans hospitals. Some were good, but not all
of them. And, mine, frankly, was a medical slump and it triggered Congressional hearings and
some degree of outrage in America that its veterans would wind up being dumped in places like
this. That's a, that was a whole different story.
BAKER: How did it affect your family?
MULLER: Well, we, everybody went through a lot of changes. I don't want to
pick on the Marine Corps, but, you know, I put a lot of faith in the Marine Corps, and the
Marine Corps motto was "semper fidelis, always faithful." And, not once in the entire year that
I was in that hospital did any representative of the Marine Corps ever come by and say, "hey,
how you guys doing? Can we help you out?" despite the fact that it became the focus of a
national scandal, essentially. And, I went to a retired Marine officers luncheon, at Sardis restaurant in Manhattan,
and pointed out, the commander that came up, a general from headquarters Marine Corps, and,
you know, they changed the policy and we started getting some visits. But, during Vietnam, a
lot of people didn't want to deal with it, and it was something to just move away from and
forget about it. A lot of people couldn't just move away from it and forget about it.
They sort of got left holding the bag. And, it took a while, and finally things did turn around,
but those were tough years, make no mistake about it.
BAKER:Have you ever been angry or bitter about what happened to you,
especially in a war that ultimately lost the support of the American public?
MULLER: I went to college as a jock. I was a phys ed major. So, I always
respected authority. And, obviously, as a Marine. There was a day that I crossed the line
and became an activist. And, that was the day that President Nixon vetoed the veterans medical
care expansion act, along with the vocational rehabilitation act, which was the civil rights
bill, essentially, for the disabled in America. And, he vetoed it and he said the funding
for the veterans medical care expansion act was fiscally irresponsible and inflationary.
That was the day I went to Times Square, in the heart of Manhattan, in New York City, and,
at 4:30 in the afternoon, you know, went right into the middle of traffic and blocked traffic.
And, people freaked out and said, "what are you doing?" And, I said, "look, I was a Marine
infantry officer. You know, I regularly called in hundreds of thousands of dollars in jet
strikes and artillery support, even had the battleship New Jersey firing support. And,
you know, I got shot in the process. Now I'm told that it's fiscally irresponsible and
inflationary to provide adequate medical care to me and other veterans." I said, "I don't think
so." So, that was the day that I crossed the line. And, I never looked back and kept going
ever since.
BAKER: Why don't we switch to the present and look at the Kosovo war?
First, from the point of view of U.S. troops, I mean, military services still is a sort of self-sacrifice.
What impact is there on the mindset or the ethic of troops when they're told that their first
mission is no casualties?
MULLER: I can't understand wanting to protect yourself and not be reckless
in puttting yourself at risk. But, you know, I've got to say, that's the business of war, to
fight, and to fight the enemy, and not the civilian population. You know, in the Marine Corps,
in Vietnam, we took 85% casualties. That's true among junior officers. 85% casualties.
And, the majority of enlisted guys within all units were casualties. You know, there was no
lack of willingness on the part of U.S. forces to fight the fight. The thing that bothered me
the most about Vietnam was not engaging the enemy soldiers. I had no problem with that
whatsoever. But, through free fire zones and the indiscriminate use of fire power, you know,
getting that inevitable 10% that never got the word that it was a free fire zone and having the
numbers of civilian casualties that we had.
You know, the whole thing about Kosovo and not taking any casualties is deeply
troubling to me. Because there's a fundamental moral equation that I think is necessary to be
kept in the process of war. And, that has to do with, if something as a principle or value is
important enough that you're going to kill people for it, then you ought to be prepared to die
for it. And, this idea of killing with impunity, where you can kill people and really not
suffer, that's troubling for me.
And, I think history has a lot of lessons about things being
out of balance in that regard, where the moral aspect of the equation really needs to be
kept in play. And, I think a lot of the countries around the world look at the United States
and our capacity to inflict casualties, and, yet, with no apparent capacity to take casualties
and have to be, and understandably to me, you know would be deeply troubled by that set of
circumstances. It's an alignment which is off and I think it portends real problems for the
future if we go down that kind of a path. Not to say, you know, probably most immediately
important is how many thousands of innocent people, you know, had to die while we failed to
engage the enemy to protect our own lives. And, again, there's something wrong with that, too.
BAKER: Alright, what do you think specifically, when we, about the decision
to forego ground forces in Kosovo?
MULLER: Look, I don't want to make that I'm a military expert but, I was
infantry. You know, I was out in the field. And, I know the reality of fire power. You know,
I was in enough situations where, you know, I don't care how many jet strikes and how many
artillery rounds you can call in, you know, if the enemy's dug in, you're going to have to
engage them, it's just as simple as that. You know, people can take an extraordinary pounding.
And, I think what ultimately played out in Kosovo is that, when you finally did get a ground
force in operation, the KLA, that all of a sudden, that's when the Serbs took their casualties.
That's when they lost their equipment, their tanks, etc. And, the idea that you're going to
bring these people to their knees on the basis of simply air power or artillery bombardments,
bombardments, regardless of how accurate you may think your munitions are, that just flies in
the face of history. And, you know, what we saw in Kosovo proved ultimately to be the same
thing. It was the ground force of the KLA that really put the pain on the Serbs that I'm sure
was a major factor in their capitulation along with very altered terms of what the agreement
for settlement for the war turned out to be.
BAKER:Some people claimed that this is a moral war fought immorally. And,
the principle, I think, from just war, principle, non-combatant immunity was turned inside out
into combatant immunity. Do you agree with that notion?
M MULLER: I think it's absolutely right that it was. I think, a moral war
in that we were going in to stop crimes against humanity and not for a more immediate national
interest of oil or something like that. It was to save lives. But, when you fight that war,
basically by going after the civilian underbelly, the soft underbelly in Serbia, as opposed
to taking the killers that are partaking in the ethnic cleansing, that that's not right.
You know, there were enough reports, front page in the Washington Post, saying unnamed
administration sources said the purpose of the campaign was to put enough pressure on the
Serbian population that they would ultimately overthrow Milosovic or put enough pressure on
him to get him to stop the war. That's targeting the civilian population which, you know,
really, I think, a credible argument could be made, you know, is a violation of loss of war.
It's certainly not, if it's not technically illegal, you know, there were obvious moral
concerns raised by that.
BAKER: In addition, we also dropped... from much higher altitudes than we
normally would to protect the pilots. Did that also put some of the people we were trying
to protect at risk?
MULLER: Look, the conduct of the war has, I think, shifted a baseline as
a precedent, which is very troubling. A few years ago, when we were fighting in Bosnia,
the commander of our air forces said we will not use cluster bombs. Because, in areas where
you have villages, it's just an inappropriate weapon. And, we changed that policy, and we
used cluster bombs obviously, not only in Kosovo, but in Serbia. Matter of fact, you know,
we were just recently briefed that we had out cluster bombs dropped at a height of over
three times higher than what normally would have done to protect the life of the pilot,
but yet wind up with a much wider dispersal pattern on the munitions.
And, the numbers
of unexploded cluster bombs will probably be as great or possibly even greater a problem in
clean-up and in all the things that happened post-conflict than even the land mines,
which are their own problem. The estimates are that we may have well over ten thousand,
possibly even 15, 20 thousand unexploded sub munitions that are all over the place in
populated areas. The idea of, you know, protecting the pilots at the cost of so many more
civilian casualties is an equation that I don't think you can be proud about.
BAKER: Are civilians at greater risk of being casualties of war today than
in years past?
MULLER:The basis of our organization's work really is civilian casualties
in conflict. In World War I, with the millions of casualties that we had, 95% of the casualties
were military. Today, Kosovo is not an aberration. Kosovo is representative of what's been
going on in conflict. And, in the last ten, fifteen years, 90% of the casualties are civilians.
The nature of conflict has fundamentally transformed in this century despite the loss of war
and the Geneva conventions and everything designed to protect civilian populations. They are
now often times purposefully the primary target of violence. And, if you've been out on a
battlefield, there is a difference between engaging an enemy soldier and innocent civilians.
I think, for a lot of people in this country that have never been on a battlefield and don't
really know about war first-hand, it's sort of easy to throw the baby out with the bathwater
and say, "ah, that's conflict." No, it's not. Historically, it hasn't been. Currently,
it is, but that doesn't make it right. It's wrong. And, we have a law, a substantial body
of international law, designed to prevent that. Unfortunately, it hasn't had any real affect.
BAKER:...intentionally targeting civilians or just making the protection
of your own troops more important than civilians, it seems to me, I mean how did the way
NATO fought the war in Kosovo contribute to this upward trend, towards the 90% putting civilians
at greater risk?
MULLER: I think one of the real concerns that you have to have about Kosovo is
how it continues to shift the nature of conflict in people's minds. When you have a war that we
fight and go after the soft civilian underbelly of the enemy by bombing civilian base areas in
what are arguably dual use targets - power systems, water supply systems, basic
transport systems - you know, you're putting pain on the civilian population that, at least
under international law, has to be, to some degree, proportionate to the value of the military
target. How can you argue proportionality if the Army is over there, if the killers are over
there, and you don't engage them. And, you're going after these, you know, at best, dual use,
and I think in a lot of cases, that's a stretch, you know, targets in a civilian base area.
The acceptance by the American people of a, you know, perceived success in Kosovo that shifted
the baseline of engagement towards the civilian base area, the way Kosovo did, I think is
troubling. And, is easy to project with antiseptic warfare something we're going to look to do
again. And, there are real problems here.
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